Why Do I Care?

That's me.  The woman you see in the left-hand corner.  She looks very confident and sure of herself.  I mean, just a few years ago she never would have made such a face, much less shared it on social media with her friends and family.

But that's just what she did.

One day, she feels comfortable enough in her own skin to do things like that.  The next day may be completely different; she may even hate herself because she ate one piece of junk food.  She steps on the scale and lets the number determine her outlook on life.  She may start worrying about what so-and-so must have thought about her when she laughed at an awkward moment or said something stupid.  She wonders how she can be so old yet feel so little.

And then, she really starts to feel miserable.

She forgets - too easily - who she is.  Not who she is all on her own, but who she is with the God who took her and made her a new creation in Him.  She forgets what He has done for her, and why these things are so trivial in the end.

Because, it's not who we are today as much as it is who we are tomorrow.  How I 'feel' should never determine how I live my life.  Feelings are never stable.  They don't last forever.  They can easily be swayed.

The Bible says, "It is better to trust in the Lord than to put confidence in man." (Psalm 118:8)  It is better to fully trust in the Lord for everything we may need or desire, than to have that trust in man who will sway with the wind.

My heart should be completely engrossed in the living God that I don't care too much about what I am wearing or how I talk, or what I eat and how I eat, or if I offend anybody.  (That is not to say that we shouldn't care at all, as Paul was saying in Romans 14:21.)

But we should be confident enough in the Lord that the worry and the wondering shouldn't consume us.... which is why I sometimes break away from social media altogether, because I don't want to cave to wondering why so-and-so did not 'like' my comment or comment on my post.

But, there is also the flip side.  We are warned not to become over confident, either:

"Wherefore let him that thinketh he standeth take heed lest he fall." (1 Corinthians 10:12)

In all reality, worrying so much about what others must think of me, is actually very selfish.  I should be caring for others with the energy I have exerted in worry and carefulness.  What about the widows and orphans God tells us to care about?  What about the person next door you have never talked to but see looking lonely?  What about the many who have not heard the Good News of our Lord and Savior?? -What about them?

Finally -

"Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God." (Philippians 4:6)

The most commonly quoted version of the verse above uses the word "anxious" in place of "careful."  But I think the word "careful" is much more meaningful.  All we have to do is merely not care much about anything, but instead pray with thanksgiving - basically, leave it in His lap and forget about it.

So, as I sit here in my yoga pants and oversized t-shirt I'm going to finish reading God's love letter to me, dump my thoughts and cares completely on Him, knowing that my confidence is in Him no matter what I do or what I say, and ask Him to lead me in the way everlasting.

Rush, Rush, LIVE

Yesterday afternoon, my sweet guy called me and said he'd be home in 15 minutes.  I was so excited that, for once, he'd be off of work at a decent hour instead of working late like he's used to.

But as soon as we hung up, I looked at the big pile of dishes I hadn't been able to finish and the fact that I had just gotten home only a few minutes ago from running around town in the rain with a 4 year old in tow.  (Did you know that buckling and unbuckling a car seat can add about 10 minutes to your shopping spree?)

Oh no, I thought, he's going to be home and I haven't finished everything yet!

The perfectionist in me reared it's ugly head and told me I should have done this -- I could have done that -- but I didn't.

Now, of course he can help me with housework (and he does!), but I like to do it myself and have it out of the way so that when he is home he can relax and we can enjoy his time off together- which is sort of limited anyway.

I looked down at my lunch - since that was overdue, too - and sighed.  I wanted him to come home, but if these things were undone now then they would be undone tomorrow, and then my perfect schedule would be all out of sync.

I spent the evening with a not-so-perfect attitude and begrudging the fact that our norm was thrown out of whack.  But when our "norm" has been eating supper without Daddy because he has to be out working late, I have pitied myself that we can't be a "normal" family where the Daddy gets home around 5p and we can all eat supper together as a family.

So... what gives?

My caring husband held me in his arms and asked what the matter was.  What was frustrating me?  How could he help?  And I told him that it was just one of those days where there is so much to do, yet so little time to do it.  Then, in an effort to help ease my troubled mind, the hard working, work-exhausted guy put aside everything else and helped me hand wash dishes.

The world would tell me just to put him to work - he can handle it.  Use him as another pair of hands to get the work done.  And besides, I've been busy, too.  Despite popular belief, housewives don't just twiddle their thumbs every day, all day.  It's not like I'm not exhausted either.

But I don't want to put him to work.  I don't want him to have extra 'chores' he has to do before he can actually relax for the evening before he has to get up the next morning and do it all over again.

When he pulls into our driveway in the evenings, I hope a sense of calm comes over him and he thinks of our home as a haven.  A haven from the non-stop busyness of the world.  A haven from the horrible traffic he sits in day in and day out, a haven from the noise, the pollution, the crazy.  Certainly not come home and find a wife who's frazzled just because he happened to get off early today.

Besides, work is work.  Housework never seems to get "done."  Dishes will still need to be washed.  Clothes will still need to be hung up.  Things will still need to be put away.  Sticky floors will still need to be mopped.  But we will grow old.  Our daughter will not be 4 years old forever.  Our family will probably change over time.  And that's both exciting and kind of scary.  Because that just means that our lives will just continue to get crazier, and more hectic, and busier.  But it will also mean that dreams are coming true.  That we will be living a lovely life - one filled with love, peace, joy and fulfillment.  One that we know is blessed of the Lord.

Of course, there is always time for work.  But I don't want it to become something that takes over our lives.  A tidy home is so much more enjoyable, I'll be the first to agree, but it doesn't have to dictate how we live.  I don't want to forget how to be spontaneous.  How to watch the sunset with my two loves while those dirty dishes continue to be dirty.  How to teach my girl to watch the birds build their nests while the table has so much stuff on it.  How to take a day trip to a new place while the laundry can't put itself away.

Because, I want to live life.

When the Valley is Rough

I know I am fearfully overdue for another blog update... and for that, I am so sorry.  Life has just been crazy, and the crazy never stops.  I'm sure many of you know how that is! ;-)

It's hard to keep looking up sometimes, when everything around you seems to be crumbling.  First my husband had some health scares last Summer, and when we thought all of it was behind us, things still keep happening and he is put on other medications to try and help it.  We have completely changed our lifestyle, our eating habits, and he has dropped nearly 40 pounds in 11 months.  (So glad about that!)  And everything is definitely not behind us, yet.  Symptoms progress, then go away, and still others newly develop.

It's aggravating, to say the least.  And on top of everything, I suddenly realized one day a few weeks ago that maybe all of this was my fault.

You see, about a year ago I got more serious about my health and wanted my husband to join me in my endeavor to better overall health and fitness.  He seemed to be gaining weight more and more, and although he was happy and healthy (on the outside), I knew that it was only a matter of time before he could have a serious health problem.  His eating habits were not the best, he didn't exercise hardly at all, and he would often only get about 4 hours of sleep each night.

It was then that I poured out my heart to the Lord, and asked Him to do something to get my guy's attention.  I honestly didn't know what I was asking.  And when everything hit the fan over the Summer, I still had no idea what I'd done.  It wasn't until just about a month ago that I remembered praying for God to somehow get his health on a better track.

(NOTE:  I do not always pray this way, and I don't advocate praying for something bad to happen to those you love in order for them to 'wake up', but sometimes, God can use the earnest prayers of His beloved children to do His will.)

           
                  Secondly, something that has strongly been on our hearts this past year (or more), is that we have not been able to have more children.  Years ago, when I was young and dreaming of one day becoming a wife and mother, it never crossed my mind that I might not be able to have children later on.  Yes, we have had one, so that means we aren't necessarily suffering with infertility, right?  Wrong.  I have learned that I must never assume that some people just don't want children.  You never know what is going on with them.

I have cried, and I have argued with the Lord.  I have seen many of my friends continue to grow their families, and as I send them my "congratulations" I groan within and ask God why.  Why give me one when I wanted more?  Why allow me to get older and not have other children to care for?

But it is in these moments that the Lord softly reminds me that His ways are higher.  Didn't we give ourselves to the Lord when we got married and said that however many children He wanted us to have, would be fine with us?  What if His will was to give us just one?  What if trusting Him in everything meant trusting Him in fertility as well?  -And trusting Him with whatever He thought we could handle?

Perhaps, if He had given us more children by now, I would have been so engrossed in my family that I would have forgotten He Who lives in my heart.  Perhaps He needed to get my attention, somehow, someway, so that I might lean all the more onto Him - and not on those poor souls around me who might not have the strength or support that I need almost every moment of every day.  Perhaps, He wants me to fall in love more and more with Him, and not put my heart into those things I long for and desire.

But I do believe I am on the road to recovery.  I have been seeing a midwife and we are working through what the problem might be.  Do I believe with all my heart that God will allow us to be parents again?  No, although I sincerely hope so, I know that it could still be His perfect will that we parent only one child.  Or perhaps later adopt, or foster.

And it would be wrong of me to totally forget the child that God has already blessed us with.  She is a beacon of light in this dark world, she is smart, lovely, funny, beautiful and such a ray of sunshine.  (It's amazing to see her grow up so much!)  God wanted Stephen and I to be her parents, and to squander that job - that wonderful responsibility - just to feel sorry for myself and wallow in my own self-pity, would be a sin.  I strive to delight in the child He has blessed me with, when I know there are others who cannot even have one.

No, life is not "fair" and the things my family and I are going through may not amount to much compared to what you may be going through.  But as my favorite quote says, let us not forget to live when our longings have so entangled us.

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When We Don't Deserve the Blessings...

The other day, our dear, sweet 3 year old daughter, who hardly ever puts up a fuss, threw an extraordinary temper tantrum when we told her "no" to her favorite restaurant, McDonald's.

Now, you can imagine that for a little girl who absolutely loves chicken nuggets and a surprise toy, this was like the world ending to her. We gently told her that Mommy and Daddy wanted to eat somewhere else this time, but to no avail. She sobbed relentlessly, and being hungry did not help matters. After some much-needed discipline she quieted down and things were soon back to normal.  We were exhausted from the experience, but knew that this was one experience we would not soon forget (neither would she, I venture to say).

A few days later, I received a special blessing. Not only did it confirm to me (and my sweet husband) that the Lord was still definitely looking out for us, but it also reminded me of my own stubbornness to God Himself.

That blessing was to reunite with two little girls that we had lived next door to over a year ago.  They came from a broken home, reared only by a single mother who didn't seem to be around much.  And when she wasn't, they were either left home alone or under the care of a shady boyfriend.  They would constantly want to stay at our house, just to hang out, or see what they could get into. They were clearly starving for attention and love. They clung to me in an embrace, and loved giggling with Stephen or playing with our daughter. Yes, sometimes, they got on our nerves, but soon - almost suddenly - they were gone. They had moved out of state. We missed them a lot, dreaming of somehow meeting them again one day, but what are the odds of that ever happening?  We felt bad for not sharing the gospel, but now there was no way we could even try to find them.  All we could do was pray for them whenever we thought of them.

Fast forward about 13 months. I was picking up G from Sunday School class. It would be our last at this particular church, before we moved five hours away.  I recognized one of the girls among the children. The same sweet, toothless smile and bouncing hair pretties in her black hair. She remembered me right away, and we hugged.  Throughout the services, she and her sister would see me and cling to me. I was still in such shock! But my heart was overflowing inside. I couldn't wait to tell Stephen.

In my own way, I had thrown a royal fit when I didn't get what I wanted.  I cried and cried when we didn't make the move when initially planned.  I wonder, how many times has God been so exhausted because of me?

Instead of moving at the end of August, we had to delay it (due to replacement issues for my husband's job) to the end of September.  And then, when the time came, we had to delay it yet again to the end of October.

Why God? Why do You want us to be in 'limbo' all the time?? I groaned.  I wanted to get this move over with, so we could get on with our lives.

As I saw the girls' smiling, cheerful faces - the same faces I thought I'd never see again - I cried within.

Then the reality dawned on me.

If we had moved at the original date, I would have missed out on this special meeting.  I would have been happily setting up house in a totally new area, but I would have missed seeing M and N again! Even if it was for a very short time.  And, this just happened to be about 5 days before we left.

God not only admonished me, but He gave me the sweetest blessing I could ever have asked for.  Why is He so good to little ol' me?

Beach Bums: First Family Vacation

13 weeks old

Well, we're back!  Sure miss that ocean-air but it's good to be back home. :-)

Gabrielle enjoyed sleeping, eating, and laughing the whole time... she wasn't quite sure what to think about the noisy water, even when we put her feet in it. ;-)

City of Southport, NC

All full of fun...

Stephen wades in the water

Listening to the ocean

We left baby with Aunt Mary to go fishing early one morning...

She's hhhhheeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

She's here!  She finally made her appearance!

Gabrielle Christiana

was born Monday, March 11th at 2:31a.m. via emergency c-section.  She weighed 8lbs 9oz and measured 20-3/4" long!  Mommy, baby and Daddy, too are doing well despite sleepless nights.

We are so thankful to the LORD for His goodness throughout labor (which lasted approximately 20 hours) and delivery.

Many thanks to all who have been praying for us.  We so appreciate your love and friendship!

A few days old...

4 weeks old!

Having a baby can be scary!!

"The blessing of the LORD, it maketh rich, and he addeth no sorrow with it."
Proverbs 10:22

We are about to enter our 7th month of pregnancy and are simply amazed at how the time has seemingly flown by... well, okay, that's not the only thing we're simply amazed at, lol!!

We found out a while back that we are expecting a little girl and are very excited!  Even though we were almost sure we were going to have a boy.... :-) 

It's hard to imagine that in about 14 weeks we will be holding our little baby for the first time, Lord willing.  This has brought on an onslaught of sudden responsibility in both of us.  I mean, we are actually going to be parents of a child?  To raise her in the way of the Lord, to teach her His statutes, to play with her and take care of her?  We just got married!  We're still learning the ropes of marriage, of running our own home... and now we're starting a family?!  It definitely has some fears attached to the idea, but I think that's where faith comes into play.

Jesus said in Matthew 6:25 & 26,
  "Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?"


What have we to fear?  Jesus Himself said that we are much better than the birds of the air, whom the Father feeds and takes care of.  All we must do is trust Him completely and He will do the rest!

Prayers are of course appreciated.  We ask that we are a blessing to others and that we give glory to our heavenly Father up above.

We're Having a Baby......!!

"Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward."
Psalm 127:3

Yep, it's true!  The Lord has seen fit to bless us with a baby! :-)

It has been an experience of a life-time, we can both assure you, from nausea to vomiting to feeling icky, to wanting to just stay in bed all day.  (Although I can't complain all that much since my morning sickness is coming to a nice close... ;-) )


Our God is totally awesome when it comes to making a baby... wow!  I am continually in awe of how He knits together a little human being inside of me.  Praise Him!

Prayers are greatly appreciated as we endeavor to remain in our Lord's will for everything surrounding a pregnancy and baby (due in early March).

Ain't Life Grand

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who hath blessed us with all spiritual blessings in heavenly places in Christ..."

Ephesians 1:3

Life, as a married woman, has been one huge roller coaster of fun.  Okay, so we've had to learn more about each others' communication skills through trial and error, but hey - what does one expect after living on one's own for 25 and 30 years?!?!

We have now officially passed the 1-month anniversary and are loving every minute of togetherness.  Nobody told me it would be this exquisite, this sweet. 

Something else nobody told me was how busy busy busy busy married women are!!  Foolish me thought that that busy-ness would come with children...WRONG.  I find myself with hardly enough hours in the day to keep up with little things that need doing.  Such as washing dishes (no dishwasher, but I'm not complaining), cleaning house, making meals, obtaining a new driver's license, helping grow our computer business, making our house a home instead of a camping cabin (!), and of course, spending time with my husband. In fact, it seems nothing else gets done because we want to spend all our time with each other!  Ah well.....

For those of you who don't have facebook, here are a few pictures from the wedding (April 28th).  My dear friend, Kristin Alexander of Daughter of Him Photography did an *excellent* job and I highly recommend her for any of your special events. (They are not in order, as you will soon discover...)

Mother putting on my veil (which she wore on her wedding day to Daddy 26 years ago).

 A beautiful end-of-April afternoon with Texas pecan trees overhead

Faith and Melody initiated the procession to make their way to the piano.  Faith played a beautiful song she worte, "Summer Waltz," while the flower girls walked down, and Melody played "Take My Life and Let It Be" as I walked down.

Faith putting my hair in curlers

Drinking some North Carolinian-yummy "Cheerwine Punch"

The flower girls: my sister, Abigail (13), friends Ashlyn A. (6) and Anna H. (1)

My handsome groom and the preacher waiting for my arrival :-)

My husband and I with my family (L to R: Johnny-18, James-16, Aaron-30, Joshua-10, Abigail-13, Stephen, Christina, Daddy, Mother, Faith-20, Melody-22)

Us getting showered (literally!) with birdseed!

 

This beautiful cake was given to us by the Pastor and his wife (whom I had the pleasure of working alongside at the local pregnancy center)

 The girls trying to make me act silly on my wedding day... :-)

Our rings.  My engagement ring (on top) is a vintage ring, probably circa 1940s, I'm guessing.  It's design, though, is quite Victorian (my Man knows me!!)

My dress, evidently home-made from about the 1930s.  My sister and I found it at a thrift store in a very small Colorado town about 9 years ago.  We instantly fell in love with it, scraped our money together and bought it for $12.  It served it's purpose extremely well!

To God be the glory; great things He hath done!

My Portion

Several things in my life right now have caused me to wonder, where am I going?  Am I really doing what God wants me to do?  Have I been living my life for Him?

Today's devotion (in Daily Strength for Daily Needs by Mary W. Tileston) did so much to calm my fears.  It's funny how the Lord knows exactly what encouragement I need for that particular day.

"If we are really, and always, and equally ready to do whatsoever the King appoints, all the trials and vexations arising from any change in His appointments, great or small, simply do not exist.  If He appoints me to work there, shall I lament that I am not to work here?  If He appoints me to wait indoors today, am I to be annoyed because I am not to work out-of-doors?  If I meant to write His messages this morning, shall I grumble because He sends interrupting visitors, rich or poor, to whom I am to speak, or 'show kindness' for His sake, or at least obey His command, 'Be courteous'?  If all my members are really at His disposal, why should I be put out if today's appointment is some simple work for my hands or errands for my feet, instead of some seemingly more important doing of head or tongue?"

-F. R. Havergal

How easy it is to forget that He gives us one day at a time!  Just one day.... it is up to me how I will spend it.

"I love to think that God appoints

my portion day by day;

events of life are in His hand,

and I would only say,

Appoint them in Thine own good time,

and in Thine own best way."

-Anna L. Waring

A New Year's Quiz...

Here's something fun I found on a friend's blog.  Enjoy!


1. What did you do in 2011 that you’d never done before?

Ride the big swings at Silver Dollar City. :-)

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

Yes, I think I can safely say I did keep my resolutions and yes, I will definitely make more for this coming year...



3. Did anyone close to you give birth or get pregnant?
Yes, two of my friends had their first babies!

4. Did anyone close to you get married?
No.


5. Did anyone close to you die?
Yes; he wasn't really close, but he was a dear family friend whom we met while ministering at the nursing home.


6. Travel?
Oh, yes.  We went to Missouri twice (first in May, then in August), Kansas and Colorado.


7. Did you move anywhere?
Nope!


8. What was the best month?
June because that's when we went to KS and CO and I love traveling... :-)


9. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 2011?

More wisdom and maturity in the Lord. 

10. What date(s) from 2011 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
October 16th - when my aunt chose to forsake the world.  Some others, but those are for another place and time. :-)


11. What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Being able to see my own clients as a peer counselor at our local pregnancy center.


12. What was your biggest failure?
Giving in to my awkward shyness...


13. Did you suffer illness or injury?
 The normal coughs and colds...

14. What was the best thing you bought?
My first car!


15. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Too many to count!


16. Whose behavior made you appalled and/or depressed?
I don't know...


17. Where did most of your money go?
A car and Christmas gifts


18. What did you get really, really, really excited about?

Traveling out of state; solidifying friendships :-)

19. What song will always remind you of 2011?
 "The Blackness of the Need" by Ron Block


20. Compared to this time last year, are you:
i. happier or sadder? happier
ii. thinner or fatter? umm... I don't know
iii. richer or poorer? richer

21. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Enjoy the outdoors


22. What do you wish you’d done less of?

Computer time

23. How did you be spend New Year’s Eve/Day?

Stayed up late playing cards and billiards, then helped put out a small fire in the neighborhood

24. What was an unexpected surprise?
A great-paying, full-time job

25. Did you fall in love in 2011?
Yes, with my Heavenly Father


26. What was the best concert you’ve been to this year?

Russel Moore & IIIrd Tyme Out, The Whites, Michael Cleveland & Flamekeeper - all in one setting!


27. What was your favorite TV program?

Dragnet, as always

28. Do you dislike anyone now that you didn’t dislike this time last year?
I'm not sure


29. What was the best book you read?
HEAL by Ally Marie Smith and Paperdoll by Natalie Lloyd



30. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Another "Sierra" album, Ron Block's second solo CD "Doorway" and some great classical pieces


31. What did you want and get?
A car, journals, a job, close friends, time with family

32. What did you want and not get?
I'd rather not say


33. What was your favorite film of this year?

"Courageous"!! And "180" for sure.

34. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I worked 12 hours, let myself have some coffee and turned 25.  Yikes!


35. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Nothing - I'd take whatever God gives me.


36. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2011?
Umm.... rather 'freeing' I guess; I discovered what actually looks good on me!

37. What kept you sane?

The Lord and my wonderful family.


38. What political issue stirred you the most?

Abortion.

39. Who did you miss?
My older brother.


40. Who was the best new person you met?
Those we minister to in music.


41. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2011:

Trust, trust, trust.  Completely.  Wholly.  Unreservedly.  Absolutely.

42. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year:

 "This is my story, this is my song.
Praising my Saviour all the day long! 
"This is my story, this is my song.
Praising my Saviour all the day long!"
 
-Fanny Crosby

Sleep Tight 2011!

Photo used with permission from www.milliande-printables.com

As with each passing year, we all love to reflect on what the Lord did for us, brought us through, and taught us.  We like to see what was done from one year to the next, what was and what wasn't, what did and what didn't.  It's always amazing to me to watch the seasons change.... the Lord has given us such an exciting gift in the four different seasons and the change of colors.

 The year began with high hopes as I anticipated going through a free Nurse Aide class at a local nursing home.  When my hopes were dashed, I was forced to rely upon the Lord and His goodness; His perfect will in every situation is not always evident, but I believe He was teaching me patience -- big time!  After several deep breaths, I resolved to wait on the Lord to open doors for the next step in my life. It felt like I was not using my time wisely, when in fact the Lord was teaching me what "longsuffering" meant in Colossians 1:11.

In March, I was blessed to find a part-time job taking care of a 2 year old little boy whose family has since become dear friends of mine.

In April we celebrated my parents' 25th wedding anniversary with a party of family and old friends... it was such a joy sharing what the Lord had done in their lives with those we don't get to see very often throughout the year.  We were blessed to be able to reunite with my dad's uncle whom we hadn't seen in many, many years.

At the end of May we anticipated our second trip to Silver Dollar City in Branson, Missouri.  Those of us who were under a certain age (and therefore still referred to as "youth" :-) along with our parents participated in the Annual KSMU Youth in Bluegrass Competition.  Even though we didn't place in the top ten (there's some pretty good family bands out there!), it was double the fun since our Memaw could come along with us!  We met families from last year's competition, enjoyed riding the City's train again, walking under cooling spritzers, and riding scary and strange rides!

In mid-June, Faith (19) joined the ranks of high-school grads of the home!  That brought the grand total to 4, with 4 left to go. :-)

Towards the end of June, we headed out of town again; this time, heading through Wichita, Kansas and on to Calhan, Colorado.  Even though the Kansas heat was just as bad as Texas, it was a breath of fresh air -- literally! -- to be able to spend half a week just east of Colorado Springs; we were blessed to be able to explore a small portion of Mount Evans along with fishing and hiking.

Meanwhile, in July I celebrated my one-year anniversary with our local Pregnancy Center in Sherman!  It was such a blessing to volunteer there until October, when I took a full-time job and had to stop until, Lord-willing, this coming month.  I am looking forward to returning to my once a week volunteer work there, and pray that the Lord can still use me.

September brought us two bluegrass festivals to perform at, blessing us with new and old friends and experiencing the Spirit of the Lord in the most unimaginable places!  We traveled up to the Arbuckle Mountains of Southern Oklahoma and also to the Fort Worth area.

In October, we were able to attend the 2nd Annual Bloomin' Bluegrass Festival where we met and mingled with The Whites, listened front row to The Seldom Scene, Russel Moore & IIIrd Tyme Out, Special Consensus, among others.  It was such a blessing to spend the weekend with good friends, too.

Also in October, the Lord saw fit to give me a full-time job as a nanny for a 3 year old...something I'd been praying for, of course, for quite some time.  Although I knew the hours would be something I would have to get used to (anywhere from 9a to 9p), I had prayed for the job and couldn't refuse.  However, after 6 weeks, prayer and wise counsel from those who know me best, :-) I put in my notice.  It was one of the toughest things I've ever had to do but I am confident of the Lord's direction in this. 

Early in November, I turned a whopping 25 years old.  Do I feel any older? No.  Any wiser? Not really!  I keep having to remind myself and hopefully, 'act' dignified and refined like a 25 year old woman is supposed to.... :-)

We had a very blessed Thanksgiving, celebrating the day with my beloved aunt whom we had not been able to visit for two years.  It was such a wonderful time of celebrating the goodness of God, along with sharing His bounty with those we love and care for the most!

Christmas seemed to have come and gone in the blink of an eye, but it was an exciting time of secretly shopping, wrapping, cleaning and baking goodies for friends and neighbors.  Oh, and of course, listening to the classic sounds of Christmas to get one into the cheeriness of Christmas!

As the New Year is fast upon us, it is exciting to me to see what the Lord has in store for us as a family and for each of us individually.  There is no reason whatsoever to fear, worry, wonder or fret...if I just keep my eyes upon Him, I can experience the utmost peace that passes all understanding.  By His leading, I am looking forward to getting my shots and then going through Nurse Aide training at our local community college (let's try this one more time!).

May God's will be done in everything I do and everything I say!

The Greatest Gift of All

"Thanks be unto God for His unspeakable gift."
2 Corinthians 9:15

O come, O come, Emmanuel,
And ransom captive Israel,
That mourns in lonely exile here
Until the Son of God appear.

Rejoice! Rejoice!
Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel.

O come, Thou Wisdom from on high,
Who orderest all things mightily;
To us the path of knowledge show,
And teach us in her ways to go.

O come, Thou Rod of Jesse, free
Thine own from Satan’s tyranny;
From depths of hell Thy people save,
And give them victory over the grave.

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer
Our spirits by Thine advent here;
Disperse the gloomy clouds of night,
And death’s dark shadows put to flight.

O come, Thou Key of David, come,
And open wide our heavenly home;
Make safe the way that leads on high,
And close the path to misery.

O come, O come, great Lord of might,
Who to Thy tribes on Sinai’s height
In ancient times once gave the law
In cloud and majesty and awe.

O come, Thou Root of Jesse’s tree,
An ensign of Thy people be;
Before Thee rulers silent fall;
All peoples on Thy mercy call.

O come, Desire of nations, bind
In one the hearts of all mankind;
Bid Thou our sad divisions cease,
And be Thyself our King of Peace.

"Words: Com­bined from var­i­ous an­ti­phons by an un­known au­thor, pos­si­bly in the 12th Cen­tu­ry (Ve­ni, ve­ni Eman­u­el); trans­lat­ed from Latin to Eng­lish by John M. Neale, Med­iae­val Hymns, 1851.  Neale’s orig­in­al trans­l­a­tion be­gan, “Draw nigh, draw nigh, Em­man­u­el.”

Music: from a 15th Cen­tu­ry pro­cess­ion­al of French Fran­cis­can nuns (the set­ting for the fu­ner­al hymn Libera me); ar­ranged by Thomas Helmore in the Hymn­al Not­ed, Part II (Lon­don: 1856)"

Taken from www.CyberHymnal.org

And Yet Another Page...

{This lllllllloooooooonnnnnnnngggggggg post is written in honor of my first-year anniversary blogging!}

It all started back in December 2009.  We had been invited to perform a Christmas program for a local church and the pastor's wife was a staff nurse for our local Pregnancy Care Center.  How the Lord works in mysterious ways!

Not four months before, No Great Joy Ministries had just released a new book for unmarried women called Preparing To Be A Help Meet.  I had been radically convicted to get a move on in my life and start DOING for my Lord, instead of thinking that I was serving the Lord completely by staying home doing laundry.

Let me explain.

Doing laundry for a family of 9 is certainly a work for the Lord.  In fact, 1 Corinthians 15:58 states that our "labour is not in vain in the Lord."  But as a single girl with no family of my own, I must look to the things of the Lord.

"There is difference also between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman careth for the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit: but she that is married careth for the things of the world, how she may please her husband."*

The Lord had placed an interest to minister to other young women in my heart long ago, but I didn't quite know how to go about it.  I felt burdened to help girls realize that there was One man Who would love them like none other.  It grieved me to see that so many of these girls were 'losing their way' and didn't know where else to turn, except to their boyfriends or drugs or alcohol.

When we met that pastor's wife and she began sharing her role at the Center, I felt that God was opening a door.  She told us about their volunteer counselors and about the great ministry going on there.  God was truly working!

The Lord didn't make a way for me to start volunteering until several months later in July 2010.  By this time, I was sure that God wanted me to make it a point to go there and do His work.  He had brought several friends into my path who encouraged me to go through the training to become a peer-counselor for the Center (knowing nothing of my long-time interest in doing that very thing!) saying that I'd make a great counselor.

In September of that same year, I was praying like mad.  I had also felt the burden to return to India, too, but also had a heart for the girls of my own country.  Which did He want me to do?

In the meantime, I learned about the counselor training.  The costs, the times, the classes.  When I discovered it would cost me $30, my heart sank.  I didn't have the money and if I wanted to sign up, I'd have to come up with the money pretty quickly.

A week before the training was to begin, however, one of the ladies came and told me that they had one scholarship left if I wanted to take it.

I almost melted into one emotional heap!  It was clear to everybody that God wanted me to go through the training.  So clear, that it was as if He told me face-to-face.

India?  That would have to wait.  Maybe for months, maybe for years, maybe even for decades. 

 Flip the pages to a year and a half later.  Per the wisdom invested in my dear parents by God Himself,I was encouraged to pray about getting a job and balance the time I volunteered myself with the time I earned money to serve God through various means.

I agreed to pray, but wondered what in the world the Lord would have for me.  I'd been working once a week babysitting for a friend but it was far from sufficient.  Yet, I thanked God for His constant provision -- even in the little things.

It's funny how we can get so caught up in 'searching' when He is there all along.  He never leaves me, He never abandons me.  He's always there.  Always.

I had advertised myself as a nanny on two different web sites.  I had a couple interviews, but they fell through and I began asking God that famous one-word question: why?

God's plan for my individual is so much bigger than I can see!  Why do I ever doubt Him and His capabilities?

I found an ad on one of the websites seeking a full-time nanny for her 3 year old boy.  It was one of about ten dozen ads I'd answered and I was growing weary.  Surprisingly, the person had listed two phone numbers and instead of applying by email, I called her.  And surprisingly, she answered.  She told me she would call me the following Monday to set up an interview, as she was very interested.

Monday came and went without a phone call from her.  I told the Lord that I would sit tight and just give it all up to Him... I'd do whatever He wanted me to do.  Three days later, she asked to meet me at a local Starbucks. And the rest is history -- HIS-Story.

But it doesn't end there.  I was scheduled to start that following Monday, but we only had two family vehicles to work with.  Daddy had to work, and my sister had to work, too!  But in my heart, I just knew that God had something else up His sleeve... if He had provided so amazingly thus far, I was convinced by now that He wouldn't stop blessing me.

Over the weekend, we were invited to clean out a house going to be foreclosed.  The friend who invited us, in a random way, asked if we needed some vehicles.  She went on to say that her son had two vehicles for sale.  We called and talked to him and went to look at them the following day.  Right away, we girls were impressed with the great price and how well they worked despite their looks!  By Monday morning, we girls went to the bank and filed for our first loan.  (But that's a totally different story...)  We were working against time because I was needing to leave for work very, very soon.

But just as we climbed into the car on our way to go pick up the two 'new' vehicles in the last 20 minutes of my time, my new employer called and told me to come an hour later than planned.

Tears formed in my eyes.  My Lord God had blessed me again.

And that brings me back to my work at the Pregnancy Center.  My new schedule allowed only two hours to volunteer when I had been accustomed to 8 hours.  I knew that something had to change.  I longed to continue volunteering, but it was clear to me that God had other plans.

It was time to turn another page in my life.  The Lord had used me and now it was time to move on.  Move on to a woman and her three year old who are starving for God's truth.

May He use me completely.

I know I should never be surprised at what He can do, but I am continually amazed...

He 
     never 
              fails. 


Forever His,
Christy

*1 Corinthians 7:34

Contentment...

"But godliness with contentment is great gain."

1 Timothy 6:6

Did you know that the word 'contentment' only appears once in the entire King James Bible?  It's amazing to me that God chose for it to appear right here, speaking of contentment with godliness.

I don't know about you, but I certainly have been discontent a lot.  And yet, what a cantankerous sore it is to the Christian life!  If we let it, it can eat at the soul terribly, leaving you feel guilty, ashamed and somewhat smarter than you were -- or so you hope to be.

I can be discontent over countless things.  Weather, how the day went, I don't have this, I don't have that, I can't do this, I can't do that... you name it, and I've been discontent about it.

Yet, what right do I have in being so?  Didn't Christ give up His very life for my sake?  And now I'm complaining?  Why is it so hard to just rest, be still, and be content?

I believe one of -- if not THE -- most important reasons Christ gave Himself for us, is because we need Him.  We just need Him.  We *are* like sheep gone astray... in more ways than one.

Paul said in Philippians 4:11,

"For I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content."

This was a guy who'd been beaten, robbed, whipped, shipwrecked, suffered hunger, thirst, etc.*  And yet, he says that he learned to be content in whatever state he was.  Wherever he was, whatever he was doing, whatever God had him doing -- he was content.

I have found several practical things I may do to curb my often desire to be discontent.  These are:

• Study the Word of God:
  
  • Do a word study on the words content and discontent using your Bible, a dictionary and a concordance.  Then, make it a real habit -- like brushing your teeth everyday! -- to read Scripture every day.  I suggest the morning time, as your mind is fresh and impressionable.  Seek the Lord to show you what He wants you to study, and He will.  He will direct you.
• Kneel in Prayer:
  
  • Actually kneeling to pray does something.  It makes you feel like you're actually in the Holy Presence of God.  While kneeling, pour out your heart before Him.*  Give up any and all clutches you hold so dear to your heart. 
• Don't Think:
  
  • It's sounds funny, but don't think about the 'what-ifs' of life.  Satan just loves to put thoughts into our heads that feel so good to think about, but when he does, be ready to recognize that it is not a godly thought and then immediately hand it over to the Lord.   
• Relish in His Peace:
  The Bible says that "The peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus."*  When we give up everything to the Lord, He gives us a peace that is almost overwhelming!  Why worry when we have the God of the Universe looking out to our best interests??
• Trust in the Lord, Delight Yourself in the Lord, Commit Your Way, Rest in the Lord:
  
  • "Trust in the LORD, and do good; so shalt thou dwell in the land, and verily thou shalt be fed.   Delight thyself also in the LORD; and He shall give thee the desires of thine heart.   Commit thy way unto the LORD; trust also in Him; and He shall bring it to pass.    And He shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday.   Rest in the LORD, and wait patiently for Him..."*

   
  Committing my way,
  Christy-Anna
  
  *2 Corinthians 11:23-27
  *Philippians 4:7
  *Psalm 62:8
  *Psalm 37:3-7
  

Get Ready....

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It will be released on March 14, 2011 so hurry!  Click here to make your purchase right away.

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