Once Upon A Time...

My husband and I are celebrating 4 years of marriage.  That's fourteen hundred sixty gloriously trying days that have only made us stronger and more in love with each other.

The man I thought might not exist, the best friend I thought I'd never have, the love I dared hope was maybe remotely possible, but not likely, is more than possible - he is mine, and I am his.  Each and every day exceeds the previous day.  We grow more in love, we learn more about each other, and best of all - we are springing up into the greatest Love ever known to man: God's love.

This life is not a fairy tale, even though it quite often feels like it.  I don't pretend that there are very bitter days.  Long nights when something is said (or not said) or something is done (or not done).  Then someone gets so hurt deep down inside where you can't see.  "Love" doesn't seem to exist during those moments.  Anger and resentment take hold.  What follows is sometimes hours of the "silent treatment" or hurtful words that neither of us meant to say.

The Bible says, "Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath" (Ephesians 4:26), so we have always made it a point to never go to bed in such a state.  If that means staying up till the oddest hours of the morning, then so be it. Our relationship is that important to us.

But I'm getting ahead of myself.  Let me share with you how history was made. ;-)

 Let me take you back to the Summer of 2011.  I was beginning to wonder where in the world my husband-to-be was and if he even existed.  It was then that I began to be very lonely.  I was nannying part-time and also participating in my family's band, The Full Quiver, part-time as well.  But I was yearning for something - for a change of some type.  I felt restless.  I began to think about returning to India as a missionary again, and sought out friends of friends who were going back to live.  But, unlike the previous times I'd gone to India, nothing really fell into place.  So I waited.  I kept asking God why I wasn't married yet, or even met anyone who might fill that void in my heart - even the slightest bit.  The two or three guys we knew of in the community did not impress me and apparently, I didn't impress them either...

Through the encouragement of several books, I learned that God wanted me to just get busy and live life for Him.  So I decided to do just that.  I started by seeking out a full-time nanny job.  My ultimate goal was to train for some type of profession, whether it would be used here in the States or across the ocean in India.  So I decided to go with CNA (certified nurse's assistant).

By October, nothing had turned up quite yet.  I was still actively working with the family band, blogging/writing and working part-time.  At a bluegrass festival where we were playing, we met an elderly man who commended us for our music and bought a CD or two.  As we were talking, he asked if I had a boyfriend yet.  "No," I replied.  (These questions were nothing new...)  "That's okay," he answered matter-of-factedly.  "Some guy is going to come along and sweep you off your feet."  I smiled, but inwardly I wanted to scream.  Yeah right, I thought.  I'm almost 25 years old and it hasn't happened yet!

At that moment, God was probably having a good laugh at my expense.   A little over three weeks later (and one week after I had landed a full-time nanny job!), I sat in front of my computer staring in disbelief at an email from a young man wanting to "get to know" me.  (Later, we discovered that at approximately the exact same time I was talking to a pastor friend about being single and waiting on the Lord, Stephen was writing me that message.  Wow.)

This guy wasn't some random dude.  We had met him and his family 2-1/2 years previously at a GospelGrass festival in Calhan, Colorado.  During the four-day event, I took notice that his family was always pitching in to help wherever possible.  They were care-free and fun on stage and off (besides the fact that their music was so awesome!) - something I was learning to be at the time.  I remember him approaching me with one of his sisters to complement me on my singing.  He tells me now that when he first saw me, he remembers thinking that I looked cute and "mysterious."  But that's as far as it went... at least for the next two and a half years.

We emailed one another for about a month before he started calling me to chat once a week.  Our phone conversations (he in North Carolina and I in Texas) got longer and longer each time.  We talked about anything and everything under the sun, and then some.  The hours went by like minutes.  I had to pinch myself several times to make sure this wasn't a dream.  I mean, a guy who was actually pursuing me?  I never thought it'd happen.
 
Then there were the little nuggets of the Lord's sweet whispers.  As if He was saying, "Yes, my daughter, this is the one.  I chose him for you long, long ago."  Things like us texting one another at the *exact* moment in time.  Discovering we were thinking of the *exact* same thing to say at the *exact* same moment.  (And this continues to happen to this day!) 

Two months after he first wrote to me, we were ready to move forward with our friendship and call it what it really was: a courtship, a relationship!  But my thoughtful parents thought it too soon for that, so we waited.  A month.  Yes, we waited just a month (barely) and then my dad gave the okay.  We were "officially," "unofficially" courting. :-D  And we couldn't be more thrilled.

At four months, we said "I love you" for the first time.  At five months, he came to visit me and stay with my family for a week.  It was the first time in over two years we had seen each other in person.  Yet, we felt like we had known each other for ever.  At five and a half months, I went to visit him and his family.  At six months, we sealed the deal with a marriage license, a pastor, a backyard, about 40 wedding guests, and a kiss.


Our courtship wasn't a bed of roses, by any means.  In fact, it felt like just the opposite at times.  There were harsh words, sad misgivings, horrible misunderstandings, and plenty more to deal with.  It was probably one of the hardest things we've ever gone through.  But it made us stronger together.  All that mattered was that God was our King, and He was guiding us a certain way, and we went together.  Nothing else took precedence.        

            I stop to reflect on these last four years.  These "happy golden years," to quote Laura Ingalls Wilder.  I can't imagine living life without my Stephen.  He completes me like no other.  We are closer now than the moment we both said "I do."  We learn something new about each other every day.  We have our quirks.  We have a daughter.  It's crazy amazing.  The adventures never cease.  Life gets crazier and crazier.

We pray that we may glorify Him in all that we do and that He will continually be praised.