Be Careful What You Complain About!

For the past three months now our little family has been uprooted from our darling home pictured above and thrown, it seems, into a whirlwind of life.  "Life" is just the easiest and most accurate way to describe it!

It all started on September 1st when Stephen was scheduled to go 4 hours away and work for about two weeks.  We had just returned on August 30 from a road trip to Texas.  Yep, that's the way it went!  Got home late, then had a day off, then Stephen was back at it first thing Monday morning.  We'd handled him away before but only for a week at a time so this would be a little different.  Besides, the Lord had blessed us financially so that I could make the trip and stay with him at some point during his trip.  What began as a two-week job quickly phased into three weeks, then four, then five weeks, then....!  His supervisors asked if we were interested in making Greenville, NC our new home.

We were excited at the prospect of moving but sad that all my husband's family would remain behind.  But there was so much in Greenville that we loved- especially the fact that we would be within two hours of any beach, and the Outer Banks. ;-)  Besides, this would give us a chance to look for a larger home since ours seemed to be getting too small for us.

At approximately 1,000 square feet with two bedrooms and one bathroom, the tiny cottage-like house where Stephen carried me over the threshold (he really did!) just didn't seem to capture our love anymore.  Oh, sure, it had a very spacious, half-an-acre yard and the neighborhood was quiet and we were no ways from the local Dollar General store. :-)  So why would we need to have anything bigger?  It wasn't as if Gabby was taking up too much room.  But it would be so nice to have some space for entertaining guests; a second bathroom would be splendid when my family of 8 visited from Texas; and what if we had any more children?!  Of course, I loved our little home and the sweet memories we had made there in the first two years of marriage, but I inwardly wondered why God hadn't blessed us with another, bigger, place to live...

Now, the company was asking us to relocate.  Here was our chance to find something a little bit bigger, but still in a good price range.  I started searching, hot and heavy, for the perfect rental - apartments, townhouses, single wides, double wides, houses.  There were some nice options... but for a bigger price. 

Every once in a while, we'd travel back home to visit family and check on the house.  The first time we did so in about a month, I walked in and my jaw dropped.  The house was so beautiful!  In fact, it was a MANSION compared to the tiny 200+ sq. ft hotel room we'd been staying in!  I couldn't believe my change of heart.  (Of course, it looked exceptionally wonderful because my sweet sister-in-law had just cleaned and organized it for me! ;-)  Everything was in such beautiful order.  There were dishes drying on a towel.  The bed was beautifully made.  Our pictures were framed and displayed.  There was my desk with letters to be written.  Everything about the house warmed my heart!  It was a home - an actual home. 

However, we did still want to move.  And no matter how much we loved our home, we were still under the impression that we had to move.  So when we got back to Greenville, I continued my search.  God seemed to put just the right people in our path and we found a small house out in the country for the same price we'd been paying rent back in Troutman - a huge blessing.  Plus, the landlords were cousins of mutual friends of some people we went to church with back home.  How wild!

The day before we were scheduled to sign a lease on the new house, Stephen got a call from his boss.  He was told that they were trying to get him back to the Charlotte area - so hold off on any permanent housing options.  What?  My heart sank and my heart leaped all at once.  (Is that even possible?!)  How long would this last?  This game of "yes, you're moving" and "no, you're going back home"?  I was beginning to feel very hopeless.  It was hard.  I felt so useless here!  Sure, I was occupied with many things - but this was not our home.

The company asked Stephen to stay at least until the New Year.  It was hard to hear that we wouldn't be home for Thanksgiving or Christmas and possibly New Year's.  But what about our living situation?  I prayed that surely we would not have to stay in that tiny room for another month.  And thankfully, my sweet Stephen was able to 'pull a few strings' with his boss so that we could move into a 525 sq ft hotel suite.  It isn't as big as our home but it is big enough for now and we love it so much better than the other place. :-)  (I have never set up a Christmas tree in a hotel room before but it's actually kind of nice!  And we had to have one. :-P )

These days, I look forward to going back home and using it to its full capacity.  I enjoy dreaming of changing this or that, moving this or that... and praising God for the lovely little home we have.  And instead of praying for what we could have in a home, I thank God for what we do have.  Yes, we could use another bathroom and maybe another bedroom but it isn't necessary right now and I should never have complained about not having those things.  Besides, the Lord knows exactly what we need and exactly what we don't need.  All I have to do is trust Him - which, if you haven't figured it out, is easier said than done.....

(P.S.  There is more adventurous stories to come!  Stay tuned.)

Life is A Whirlwind, Time a Fleeting Thing....

Today I did two things that made me feel very accomplished, neat, tidy, on top of things, a real homemaker, fresh and clean......

I swept and mopped every. single. room of our tiny home. :-D

Yep, you read right - it is only on rare occasions that I find that extra 'umph' I need and do both sweeping and mopping at the same time.  Oh sure, some days I sweep every room but more often than not I don't mop.  Why?  Let's just say it's a very laborious job and quite boring.  And no, I don't like it. ;-)

But this morning, for some reason, I found that extra 'umph' and I went ahead and did it.  Usually, I will offer myself excuses of why not to do it- such as, the baby will only sit in your dirt pile and play in the mop water!- but despite these very real reasons, I did it anyway.

And you know what?  I am soooo glad I did!  Not only is my house in way too much order for the upcoming weekend ;-) but I am sitting here blogging... something I have been wanting to do for a very long time but never could find the time to do it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

                    It seems like only yesterday I was still single, living with my parents and brothers and sisters (the whole lot of 'em ;-) ), engrossed in a life of waiting for my Prince Charming, singing with the family band, writing fictional dramas, feeling sorry for myself for not having a husband- or even a remote possibility- on the horizon, doing my part of family chores, etc etc etc etc etc....

Then, all of a sudden, when I decided that it was high-time for me to get up and start serving the Lord even more, my husband-to-be literally fell out of the sky. <3  (Okay, okay, not literally, but pretty much so!)

In six months' time, we fell in love and got married.  And then, within a few weeks of getting married, we found out we were going to have a baby join our unit.  How crazy excited and nervously happy we were!

And all this happened to the girl who was pining away just a few months before.

                  These days, my life is filled with piles of laundry, piles of dishes (warning girls: they don't go away once you leave your family's house and have a home of your own :-P ), blocks strewn out over the living room floor, bits of torn toilet paper all over the house, spilled orange juice on the floor, a hard-working man who loves and cares for his family, and a sweet little toddler girl who waddles from room to room exploring, lays on her belly coloring with one of Mommy's pens or crawls up in Mommy's lap and offers kisses all over.

Yes, some days seem like such a chore- there is so much to do, so little time.  What is for dinner?  Did I remember to take the chicken out of the freezer?  Where did the baby go?!  Why is she quiet?  Does he have work pants for tomorrow?  Oh no, today is my workout day.  Why does she want to be held all. the. time?  Did I remember to pay the power bill?  I wish she would just go to sleep!  We need a vacation!  I need some coffee.....

But I wouldn't trade this life for the world.  I am blessed beyond measure.  My cup runneth over.  This is my dream come true!  I am loved, healthy, clean, dry, warm, cool, blessed.

Which brings me to my opening story about sweeping and mopping.  Yep- the baby was in the dirt pile, and she did try to play in the mop water (yuck!) but at least she was with me, learning the ropes of housecleaning 101. ;-)  We laughed together, she found a dry washrag and dried patches of the wet floor, I got another kind of workout in, and the floors got clean in the midst of things!

In my opinion, a clean house equals a fresh outlook on every day life and feels like a breath of fresh air.  At least, to me it equals that.  It makes me feel accomplished and clear-minded, and I love the thought that maybe it's a fresh haven of rest from the busy world where my husband has to work every day.  Plus, our baby is so much closer to the ground and dirt than we are, might be healthier because the floors were disinfected and cleaned to perfection.  (Oh, ahem, pardon my boasting...)

Life is very much a whirlwind and time is certainly fleeting.  Think about it: whatever time it was ten minutes ago is gone forever.  Whatever age you turned on your birthday is the last time in your whole life you will ever be this age.  The baby was just born.  She weighed only 8 lbs, 9oz.... she couldn't walk, couldn't talk, didn't know how to sit up.....now she is almost SEVENTEEN months old, weighs a whopping 30 lbs (approx.), can walk very well, can talk very well, can sit up by herself, she can even give kisses night-night and wave hi or bye-bye.

So, if my talk about a clean house made you all nervous... forget it.  If you have a choice of sitting in the middle of a dirty floor and scribbling nonsense with your babies, or making your home immaculate for just a short time (because we all know it just gets dirty again), I encourage you to sit with your babies.  Of course, there is a time for cleaning and scrubbing.  But it can wait.  Your babies can't.  They are growing, learning and maturing nearly every second.

Enjoy the ride.

(And just so you know: my mom always said that babies grow up too fast and that a dirty home was sometimes better than a clean one if it meant time with your little ones... I didn't really believe her until I had a child of my own. :-) )

Daddy

It just dawned on me how much I miss my Daddy.  We are over a thousand miles apart, but there's hardly a day that goes by that I don't think about him.  I remember being so proud of my daddy- everything that he did or said, I wanted to know.  He was generally a quiet man, so anything he had to say must be important!  I loved his parents, where he was born, the way he plays guitar, I even loved the fact that he was John Jr. 

When I was trying very hard to get my Visa and other papers in order to go to India years ago, he was the one to gently remind me not to be anxious but to let God work everything out.  When I was pushing myself harder and harder to graduate home school by age 16, he was the one to calm me down and tell me that it would be okay if I didn't end up graduating until six months to a year later.  

I'll never forget the time when we were sitting around the dinner table and he looked at me and said, "Some day, you will probably not agree with me on everything.  But that's okay.  That's life.  It's just going to happen that way."  I shook my head.  What?  No way!  Daddy knew everything, he was wise, he was just wonderful.  Why in the world would I disagree with him on anything?  That was when I was a naive 17.  And now, years later, I know my Daddy was wise- because, you know what?  We do disagree on some things.  And it is just how it happened. But we agree on other things, don't worry. :-)

I was telling Stephen the other day how I remembered when we were little, we would tell Daddy about a scratch or an owie and he'd pull out his pocket knife (in fun, of course, but he was so good at not smiling or laughing during the ordeal that we really thought he was serious!) and ask to see the owie.  "Here, let me cut it off so it won't hurt any more, ok?" he'd say.  "No," we'd reply, pulling our hand back.  "It's okay now!" 
Or the times when we girls would stay up to the oddest hours in our beds chatting away about anything and everything in the darkness of our bedroom.  Suddenly, we'd hear Daddy's strong voice: "Girls, it's time for bed.  Good night!"

Other times he was playing his beloved guitar accompanied by his soothing voice or Mother's harmonies.  There was something so calming, so sweet about it.

The more I grow older and better learn the ropes of having my own family, the more I see how much my parents did for me and my siblings.  And although there may be things that I wish I could change, I know that God gave me who and what I needed- what He thought was best for me.  We may never agree on some things or our views have changed, but I can rest assured of the fact that my parents loved me (and still do!) to the best of their ability. 
Daddy, I miss you so much.  I can't wait to spend more time with you this Summer, Lord willing!

Gabrielle Christiana is ONE!

One year ago today, our giggly, smarty, funny, happy baby girl was born!

Gabrielle Christiana entered this world at 2:31a.m. March 11, 2013 weighing in at 8lbs 9oz.

We are beyond blessed with how much we have learned with her and through her... she is so precious to our hearts!

Test of Faith

"My God, my God, why hast Thou forsaken me? why art Thou so far from helping me, and from the words of my roaring?"
Psalm 22:1

Have you ever thought that perhaps God did not really forsake David in the Psalm above?  Perhaps, it was David who had not communed with the Lord in such a while that it felt as if the Lord had left him to wallow in his own sad, depraved heart?  I wonder.

Lately, I have come to realize that life is a spiraling event of constant cycles.  -At least, for me it is.

I don't understand why this, why that- who in their right mind would such-and-such.... why so-and-so think such-and-such and why they don't...

Who, what, why, where.

I start begrudging, I start becoming bitter; I am angered that such lies float around!  

And yet, I must learn to just stop, take a long look at the setting sun, take a deep breath, and be thankful for what I have and who I have by my side in this twisted road of life.  For, it is not mine to know so many things, even when I so want to!

God knew that I would be going through this long, long ago.  He knew that my faith would be tested in such a manner.  He knew that I would feel desperately all alone sometimes... but, why would I be put through such a test if He knew of it all along?

Perhaps I have been neglecting Him, of late.  Perhaps my attentions have been robbed, that I needed to be stripped of everything and everyone in my life that I seemed to lean upon too much for the support they couldn't give... did I ever think about that??

How long has it been since I woke to see the sun rising from the beautiful blue night sky, as the birds first start chirping their good-mornings to read His Word in the silence of the dawn?  How long has it been since I found a special little nook in the cool morning landscape, to hide away for awhile just to talk to Him as a Friend- a Support- a Confidante like none other?

I knew it had been too long to remember the last time.  But the baby needed me so very much of late, always wanting to be held or played with, or a bottle fixed or put to nap.  And then what about the laundry, the piling dishes, the stinky bathroom, that heap of clothes on the bed?  Why do I want to sleep in the cool morning hours? -Especially with baby girl by my side?!  What about dinner?  What about those things my honey asked me to do before he got home later that day?  What about even looking presentable for him and not still in my jammies???


The Lord knows all about my life.  He gave it to me.  In fact, it was this very life that I prayed, hoped, yearned, dreamed and cried for so many, many years.  I sat at His feet, then... asking Him so sweetly to give me these desires of my heart.  And now that He gave them to me...... I don't spend even just a few minutes with Him?

How heartless of me.  How shameful!

I will read His Word, I will spend time with Him again.  And not just because I am hurting and need Him badly.  But because I need Him- I need Him like I need air to breathe, like I need water and food to survive.  My soul has been thirsting and hungering for so very long, now, it is destitute and needs the nourishment only He can offer.

Won't you join me in examining your life and seeking to worship the KING of kings, LORD of lords?

My Crazy Husband & The Girl Who Likes It That Way

Our wedding day- April 28, 2012

The other day, I was told that my husband is crazy.  If I were thinking straight, I would have responded proudly, "That's my man!"

But to tell the truth, I was very confused.  Very distraught.  Very heartbroken.

The past 10 days (and 2 years) leading up to that point in my life seemed so real, yet at the same time, such a blur.  It seemed so serious a matter, yet other times I would think to myself, "Can this really be happening?!"

Allow me the pleasure of explaining why this girl likes the fact that my husband is cRaZy...... :-P


                 I came from a conservative family.  My parents were what some call 'first-generation Christians.'  I'm the oldest of 7 children, with a half-brother who's older than me.   We lived in a rural city and secluded ourselves from any church family after an incident in the family caused us to lean on each other and practically nobody else.  I was about 13.

I was very close to my mom and sisters.  I was the "good" girl, the one who would be found cleaning after someone without getting upset with them.  I was the one my mom came to for advice sometimes.  I was the one who planned menus, loved grocery shopping, and dreamed of becoming somebody's wife and living happily ever after.  I was the one who wrote out a list of 'qualities' my future husband should have, because he would be perfect.  I was the one who said I wouldn't hold hands until our wedding day.

I had seen how my parents' marriage had gone from good to bad to worse, and finally good to better to wonderful.  It filled me with a sense of security to see that.  And then, my thoughts would drift away to the future.  I dreamed of having a marriage like theirs: blissful, happy, perfect.

Well, okay- I knew everything was not peaches and cream all the time... but hey!  They had each other and that's all that mattered.  Right?

Mother learned to spend less time on the phone with her friends and instead be with Daddy.  Less women's Bible Studies where all they seemed to do was chat with each other about what this husband did or what that husband said.  She spent more time with us children.  She and Daddy began dating again.  And instead of making dinner the way she said it was going to be made, she'd ask him what he wanted.  All I could see was that Daddy was not so moody anymore, Mother was not the source of too many arguments, and we kids were a lot happier, too.  Whatever they were doing differently must be working out for them, I thought, storing away little memos in that section of my brain labeled "For Future Marriage."

Then, my life received an abrupt interruption in the Fall of 2011.

As my 25th birthday approached slowly but surely, I wondered - as I had so often wondered before - where that special guy was and why we hadn't found each other yet.  An old grandpa met me at one of our singing engagements and told me, "Some guy's going to find you and be so happy, someday!"  I just smiled and laughed it off, all the while thinking to myself, "Oh yeah right.  He's just going to fall out of the sky one day... ha!"

March 2012

Just two weeks later, it would seem that he did just fall out of the sky - literally. :-)  I received a message from a guy whose family my family and I met briefly at a festival in Colorado almost three years before.  They all played music, too, just like us.  The message indicated just a friendship, but it would be the first GUY I ever corresponded with.  I was shocked, excited and nervous all at once.  I remembered what I had always envisioned doing when that "moment" finally came, so I did the effortless: I directed him to ask my dad if it would be okay for us to write.

I could say the rest is history - and that would be true - but the "rest" is not actually history until it happens.


                   Stephen is not a typical guy when it comes to character and demeanor.  He has ideas pop into his head at the oddest moments; he likes to analyze a situation in a way that seems totally opposite of what would be called typical; he finds another angle to a matter, in order to understand it better; he has a thought and shares it - sometimes without thinking what the repercussions could be; he has values; he has convictions; he loves the Truth; he has a great arsenal of knowledge about the Bible and its contents; he is vehement about Right and Wrong; he is passionate for his family; and so much, much more.

Fast-forward to our first month of marriage.  I was very new at this thing called marriage; after all, I'd had no practice!  In my mind, being a good wife was being just that: good.  In every way.  I thought (without even realizing it) that I should shove my own feelings out of the way and just do whatever he wanted; unless, of course, he wanted to blatantly sin or something.  Stephen brought to my attention the fact that this was not what the Bible taught us wives; in a way, I wasn't trusting him enough with my whole heart.  I knew that it wasn't my job to be his conscience or his mother.  My job was to be his Help Meet (Genesis 2:18). 

Wedding Reception in NC - May 19, 2012

Let me point out, here and now, that I don't believe the Bible talks of submission as a kind of slavery.  Marriage is meant to be a team - not an imbalanced yoke upon one or the other spouse.  If both roles of husband and wife are being played out as the Bible intended* then they will be "heirs together of the grace of life" as it says in 1 Peter 3:7.  My husband is my friend, my confidante, my partner, my helper - yes, even my guide sometimes. 

In our 16 months of marriage, we have had our fair share of in-law "drama."  I always seem to get stuck between both parties, defending one and then the other... which only results in confusion and hard feelings on the part of everyone involved. 

These past two weeks have been yet another such conflict.  I feel like I know my family very well.... and I know my husband very well.... but they don't know each other very well... it can prove to be a very awkward, very messy situation.  :-/

I didn't know how they could not understand one another.  Why couldn't they get along?  Stephen tried to help me see things the way he saw them - and I did, to an extent.  I was baffled the rest of the time.  We were praying hard that things would somehow calm down on both sides and we could settle the huge disagreement once and for all.  This time around, I was slowly but surely beginning to see how I had been disregarding my husband's sincerest concerns - concerns for righteousness, godliness and a separate entity all our own.  It was hard for me to see it as clearly as he saw it.  So I sought online resources to help me see what I was missing.

One of the articles I found seemed to describe me perfectly.  I was so excited.  It said:

"Your mate views your unwillingness to stop these intrusions into your family as betrayal.  Your mate believes that every time you take your parents' side or do nothing to stop your parents' intrusion, you are betraying your vows to honor your mate above all others."**

I had thought that it would be better for us to ignore the impositions; to pretend as if they never happened.  But Stephen kept saying we should do something about it..... now, I understood why he felt this way.

I don't pretend that my husband or I are perfect in any way.  We definitely have our faults like anybody else.  And I definitely don't think that he is perfect and can do no wrong... he's a sinful man just like I'm a sinful woman.  If we weren't, there would be no need for the saving grace of Jesus Christ!  All that to say, that, we contributed somewhat to the contention.  But the root problem still remained and we had to do something about it.

The next day, I was flipping through a book*** that outlined three types of men: the Steady, the Command, and the Visionary.  I couldn't believe what I found:

"Once you get it into your head that your husband does not have to be 'right' for you to follow him, you will FINALLY be able to say 'bye-bye' to your overwrought parents, even when they are screaming that you are married to a crazy man.  People looking on will marvel that you are able to love and appreciate your husband, but you will know better because you will see his greatness."

So why do I like the fact that he's "crazy"?  Because he is willing to be crazy for the sake of righteousness and goodness.  He's willing to be crazy for the sake of protecting our home - in any way, shape or form.  

And I find great security in that.

*See:  1 Corinthians 7:3, 1 Corinthians 14:35, Ephesians 5:22-25, Ephesians 5:33, Colossians 3:18 & 19, 1 Peter 3:1, 5, 7
**Click here to view article.
***Created to Be His Help Meet by Debi Pearl.

Sweeticums

Gabrielle is now 5 months old, continuing to bring love and joy to those around her.  It is simply fascinating to watch her grow and learn each and every day.

She is my "Sweeticums."

Don't ask me where I heard that pet-name, but it's stuck with me for years.  I hate to admit it, but I used to have a cat named Sweetheart whom I would call "Sweeticums" sometimes.... and now, I'm calling my daughter that - lol.

We can't wait to see her blossom into the flower of a princess that she is!  - All the while, learning how to be the parents God would want us to be.