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| "Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways, acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy paths." Proverbs 3:5,6 |
So many times - and I truly mean "so many" - we have dreams and ideas and wants and desires, but we forget to leave it all in the Lord's hands. After all, we live and we breathe for His glory, not our own. He Himself gave us those dreams and desires, so how does He want us to accomplish them?
My husband and I have been married for nearly 4-1/2 years and in that time, it seems we have always been on the run. As if our lives are not settled. We had a baby when we were married for just 10 months. Then my husband got a great job that required him to move around a little bit. We have lived in about 4 different hotel rooms over the space of six months. And as if that wasn't crazy enough, our daughter had surgery while we were in transition. But God was faithful, as He ever is. We finally settled in Charleston, SC. And after only a little over a year here, God is opening the doors for us to be moving back to North Carolina.
I love the adventure that came when I married my Stephen. I love the spontaneity that our lives afford us. I really do. But I am also a "home body." I like the feeling of being 'settled' (at least a little bit) and setting up and beautifying our own home. I have dreams of expanding our little family, getting back to my long-lost friend, Writing, having our own garden in the backyard, having a laundry room in our own home (and not at the apartment laundromat), teaching and introducing our girl to the country living we so love, maybe even keeping a few chickens and a goat. Some days I get so overwhelmed, so selfish, that I just want to scream.
But we all know that is not mature. That is not wise, or kind. God has given us this life and we need to use it for His glory. The Lord reminds me to seek out the good things that we have seen or done, when my life is in limbo. He softly tells me that His will is better than mine. And I know for a fact that He is right. There have been so many areas in my life where I have seen Him work so eloquently. So incredibly. And in the end, the situation turns out perfectly. Why would I want to intrude and mess things up? I know His way is perfect.
"My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me." (2 Corinthians 12:9)
It is far from easy, but it is magnificent to think that in my weakness, Christ's strength is made perfect. In my weakness. Me, who is nothing but a tiny spec in God's vast earth. How amazing!
As we wait for the next phase of our lives to come to fruition, I am learning to trust fully in Him for everything I may need or want. And we enjoy this life He has given us now, because if I know myself, I am going to miss it.
