"The blessing of the Lord, it maketh rich; and He addeth no sorrow with it."
Proverbs 10:22
It's amazing how many twists and turns life presents. If you would have told me a year ago (or even 6 months ago!) that I would be engaged right now, I would have laughed in your face and called you a looney.
But doesn't my God work in mysterious ways?? Isn't He capable of the seemingly impossible? Why, then, do I sometimes doubt Him?
This past Summer 2011 was a particularly hard one for me, in regards to the "love" side of my life. A dear friend of mine entered a courtship, and again, I fell into the awful slump of self-pity. (Argh!) It was Halloween night that, as I was talking to a friend about how I believed we single girls should be using our time wisely preparing for a future marriage, I felt an unspeakable peace wash over me. It was as if the Lord said, "Why are you so fearful? Don't you trust in Me to fulfill all your dreams?"
I was greatly humbled... yet again. Of course I had felt 'left out' and lonely time and time before; and of course, I cried out to the Lord time and time before; but this time was so different... I never felt such a peace engulf my every fiber like I did that night.
I completely, unashamedly, whole-heartedly gave up my desires for marriage to the Lord.
The very next day, I got a facebook message from a guy I'd met 2-1/2 years previously. He, in North Carolina, and I in Texas, well.... you can just imagine how many letters and phone calls we exchanged! We talked about anything and everything, from favorite foods to Biblical doctrine. It was amazing to both of us how we agreed on every issue that was brought up.
On January 26th, we received my parents' blessing to move forward into an 'official' courtship since we considered ourselves 'unofficially' courting since October 31st. On Valentine's Day, I received a surprise vase of roses and fell madly in love. :-) It was the first time any guy (other than my dad and brothers, of course) had given me anything for Valentine's and I felt uniquely special.
In early March, he came to visit us. It was awkward at first, but then it wasn't awkward at all. We had seen the Lord's hand in our relationship from the very beginning; even the tiniest details were a handiwork of the God of this Universe.
Within three days of his arrival, we both knew (even without verbally saying it) that we wanted to be married -- and, more importantly, that God was calling us to be married.
Stephen is the first guy who asked to get to know me, the first guy I ever talked with over the phone, the first guy I've ever given my heart to, and the first guy I've ever said "I love you" to.
It has not been a bed of roses at all. There have been very, very hard days while still other days have been so blissfully sweet. The Lord has done a mighty work -- not only in Stephen and I -- but also in the lives of family and friends. It is so sweet to sit back and watch my Lord Jesus at work! I love the words of this old hymn because it rings so true to me now, more than ever:
'Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus,
Just to take Him at His word;
Just to rest upon His promise;
Just to know, Thus saith the Lord.
Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him,
How I've proved Him o'er and o'er,
Jesus, Jesus, Precious Jesus!
O for grace to trust Him more.
I used to dream of the day a man would come calling for me; the day when he would tell me "I love you" for the first time; the day when I would be planning a wedding -- my own wedding! Dreams are wonderfully sweet things, but they can become a pile of dust if your heart is not where it should be. My heart was set on being married for the most selfish reasons. But when I completely and utterly surrendered my will to become the will of my heavenly Father's, His dreams became my own, His heart's desires became my own. And now, I am living in a heavenly dream come true.
"But they that wait upon the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings as eagles;
they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." Isaiah 40:31
"Delight thyself also in the LORD;
and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart."
Psalm 37:4
"Thanks be unto God for his unspeakable gift."
2 Corinthians 9:15
May He alone be glorified in both of our lives. In Jesus' Name!
